Best of College Blogger Advice: Why Facebook and Players Don’t Mix

A friend of mine met an Australian backpacker over Spring Break. Scruffy, adventurous and with a great sense of humor, he was the perfect package for her at the time. After spending two days together out in clubs, on the beach and generally out on the town, he decided to visit her in her college town, taking a detour just to see her once again before he left the United States.

It was typical textbook whirlwind romance and after the three additional days they spent strolling and laughing along the streets of her campus, they were throwing out words of praise and of affection to one another. Him calling her “beautiful” and “amazing;” her exclaiming she would miss him terribly when he left. It was all so spontaneous and perfect.

Little did she know, that only a month of Facebook chats and fleeting Skyped “I miss you”s later, she wouldn’t be the only perfect, beautiful girl in his life.

Problem is: back in the day, if a man wanted to two-time her, he would have absolutely no problem doing it. However, with the advent of social media and our nasty habit of exposing our lives, photos, and nearly anything really, to the general and unassuming public, nothing is private or sacred anymore. And nothing is certainly a well-kept player’s secret.

The outbacker had, in the intervening months, invited my friend to come visit him during his tour of Europe, after her semester was over, saying he couldn’t bear being without her much longer. He kept calling her “beautiful,” telling her how much he missed her, and even offering to pay for part of her trip just to see her again…it was all so romantic, it almost made me nauseous.

What the sweet and naïve boy from down under forgot was just how revealing Facebook can be. Sure, he thought he could travel the world and fall in love along the way; he thought he had his game down pat.

The five-step fool proof plan:

1) visit new country

2) meet girl

3) visit her and meet up with her again

4) express deep and spontaneous romantic affection; invite her to see you

5) move on.

Here’s the problem. Homeboy forgot that he can’t really lead a girl on while there are pictures, Facebook wall posts, and everything else under the sun updated every millisecond for all the world to see on every newsfeed worldwide.

All of a sudden, my friend was inundated with the same exact cute and posey pictures of her Australian with another girl. All of a sudden, he was inviting some new girl to visit him during his European adventure, writing sweet nothings on her wall, and changing his status just for her.

What gives?

Back in the day, he could be stringing dozens of women along with his neat and easy game. Not so easy anymore, is it buddy?

Every girl can sympathize, including myself. When someone I used to see (or whatever you want to call it) decided to overwhelm me with pokes and messages a couple months ago, I would have written it off as typical behavior, but when it was pretty clear he was in a serious relationship, and still continued with the same (mature) behavior, I realized just how hard it must be for him to lead me on.

Sure, Facebook might ruin some relationships and it might even stunt our general life communication skills, but here’s something Facebook does pretty damn well – it tells you the full-on truth. It might not be pretty or fun at the time, but it certainly doesn’t lead you on and in the long run, it gives those dirty players a run for their money.


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