“Avatar” Fans Report Suicidal Thoughts Following Viewing

The second-highest grossing movie of all time apparently needs to come with a warning label — at least that’s what some fans are claiming following a viewing of James Cameron‘s Avatar.

According to a recent CNN.com report, some moviegoers are experiencing the post-Pandora blues when they exit the theater and (shocker) realize that the world and characters created by Cameron and his crew don’t really exist. Fan forum sites have recently been flooded with people seeking help dealing with this “alien” malaise.

“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar’,” one desperate despressed film watcher posted. “I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie.”

While we’re tempted to straight up make fun of anyone who gets that deeply attached to a bunch of CGI characters with blue skin, magic hair, and sparkly freckles, we think there’s a bigger issue here that no one’s talking about: The depression you feel when you realize the movie is two hours and forty minutes long, and buying extra snacks at the concession stand means certain death for your diet.




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