Summer is supposed to be the time to be calm, chill and stress-free. The only way to be all of those things is to get rid of frustrations. And yes, that includes people. It can be very difficult to give thought to cutting off a friendship, but sometimes you see signs that it may be over. I have had many ups and downs in friendships for the past few years. I have always tried to stay consistent but as people grow, go away to college, make new friends and start their lives, friendships may change. Sometimes you become closer, but often times you grow further apart.
Recently, a good friend of mine for the past few years fell back on an agreement we made. And this agreement was bigger than, “are we going to still hang out Saturday night?” It is still very recent, so it is hard for me to get into the details. And I’m not an incredibly sensitive person, but this has really been on my mind.
Basically, I really needed her to do me a favor; she offered to help, but then became very shady in dealing with it and avoiding talking about it. I have not heard from her since. I know a lot is also going on in her life, but there are millions of ways these days to contact someone. There’s phone, text, email – and let’s not forget everyone’s favorite social networking sites, MySpace and Facebook!
What makes me so mad is that the situation did affect me financially (I was not asking to borrow money) and that if she was not able to follow through she should have told me instead of leading me on. I’m assuming she doesn’t care because there is no way you “forget” to help a friend in need. I am still wondering how to deal with it or if I should just call her out and flip out, but I also want to be the bigger person. This is not the first time something like this happened, but this is big enough to make me think it is over.
Ending a friendship is hard. I have some friends I have known since kindergarten and elementary school. I try to hold on as much as possible, but I will not be lied to or betrayed. I’m not saying she was a horrible friend because she has been there for me many times, as I have for her, but this situation made me lose respect and trust – both things hard to get back. Sometimes we think the only forms of betrayal come if your friend sleeps with your boyfriend behind your back or steals money from you, but it can come emotionally too. And it’s hard to think that someone you shared laughs, memories, and your deepest problems with may not be the person they once were, but I’m going to surround myself with my real friends.
Ending a friendship does not always mean that the person is a bad person, but it may mean you’ve outgrown one another or that they aren’t what you need them to be for you. And yes, it can hurt as much as a break up from a romantic relationship–and sometimes even more–because friends tend to last longer than boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.
Summer is the universal season of change, fun, and happiness. So whether you need to talk it out with a friend or make some better decisions regarding the friendship, don’t let it ruin your summer!