We’ve all heard that in order to have a friend, you have to be a friend. I’ve recently discovered that this basic principle applies to all kinds of relationships: with family, with co-workers and with significant others.

Relationships are not one-sided. They are supposed to be an equal game of give-and-take. If you’re in a relationship and you feel like you are doing all the giving or all the taking, it isn’t healthy.

I have been hanging out with my ex the last few weeks, and I realized quite a few things. First of all, I wasn’t really sure what he liked about me because everything I am passionate about, he would criticize or mock. I got really tired of apologizing for liking SATC & writing for blogs. Secondly, I realized that I felt pretty good when I was with him – but as soon as we were apart, I felt empty. I felt like I had given a lot of myself to him and wasn’t getting very much back.

However, there is one surefire way to ensure that your relationship leaves you feeling satisfied, happy and full of energy (not depleted of it): You need to be the lover you would like to have. That means that you need to be forgiving, give your lover space & be supportive.

You need to realize that you have to have your own life & you have to let your sweetiepie lives theirs, too. And if your significant other doesn’t do the same for you? Get out. Relationships should make you feel amazing, energized & whole. You should never feel like you have to give up a part of yourself to make someone else happy.

hope all you lovely girls are having an amazing summer & are not letting anyone – friends, boyfriends, school, work – take the pleasure out of your everyday life!