Do you catch yourself being more careful of whom you choose to date these days? Maybe it’s because we’ve been hurt too much in the past, or because we’re smarter and we know exactly what we want in a guy. But whatever happened to the “boy-toys” we clung onto back in high school and how did they become the potential future life partners?

I have many friends who make constant relationship mistakes, such as dating a guy for the comfort of having someone there. Anyone. But are they happy? Probably not. From looking deep into their eyes, my friendship radar tells them that they’re unsatisfied. They are beautiful young women who deserve a guy who will treat them like princesses that they are. But those words no longer do the trick these days.

Through my observations, I did come up with something else. I did a lot of dating in my life and I realized something: A lot of guys out there will make you happy. Wow, we should all be jumping up and down and celebrating right? Not really, and here is my reasoning behind it all. With all those guys who have the potential to make you happy, what separates the boys from the men?

All the boys will make you laugh. They’ll spin you around in their fancy cars, making your head spin in excitement so fast. They’re going to take you out to places you’ve never been before. But are they going to be there for you when the whole world is crashing down at your feet? The men will do all that and more. They’ll give you space when all you want to do is push them away. They’ll stare in your eyes and whisper the unforgettable “I love you” to you when you kick, scream at them and yell “I hate you”.

You may agree or disagree with me. You may say that the perfect guy is the guy who’ll never make you want to push them away. But I say that every relationship is going to have its rocky paths. And it’s going to be the men who are going to wobble through that with you and not the boys who’ll avoid it like a plague until it’s over.

Either way, aren’t you now starting to think: Is he for “right now” or “forever”?