Get Inspired: The Secret to Keeping it Secret

Unless you were hibernating all weekend you’ve heard that popular R&B/pop singer Beyoncé and rapper/business mogul, Jay-Z finally tied the knot. The couple who took out a marriage license last Tuesday held a private ceremony at Jay-Z’s Tribeca apartment in New York on Friday with family and close friends while news hungry reporters and photographers camped outside trying to get information.

The couple who have dated since 2002 have spent the last six years denying controversial rumors (including several marriage rumors and Jay-Z dating another singer,Rihanna), dodging questions they deemed as too personal and appearing on each other’s hit songs. One thing I admire about their relationship is their coy ability to acknowledge their relationship but not allow the media to intrude in their personal lives. Sure, they appeared on gossip blogs and tabloids everytime someone reported they “may” be getting married or if there was rumored trouble in paradise but they always managed to play it cool and private.
So, how do you do the Beyoncé and Jay-Z and keep people out of your personal business?

1. Realize what is at risk. You want to keep your relationship and allow it grow, correct? So, when things start to become official you both need to be in agreement with certain aspects of your relationship. Do you really think things would have gone smooth if Beyoncé and Jay-Z weren’t in agreement with not being too open about the details of their personal lives?

2. Don’t tell all your problems too freely! When you’re upset at your significant other the first thing we want to do is complain to any and every one who will listen but that is where rumors can breed. Yes, you need people besides your boyfriend you can confide it but don’t let it be everyone; some friends can be trusted with information and others won’t resist the urge to gossip even if they care about you as a friend.

3.Define your own relationship. Of course at first people scratched their heads when the two first got together and saw her as the flawless singing beauty with the seasoned rapper with serious swag who often “spit” some playboy-like lyrics (i.e “Big Pimpin”, “Girls Girls, Girls”). However, over time everyone saw their love for one another was genuine and far from a publicity stunt. Like many successful couples you can’t let other people label or control your view of your relationship.

4. Finally, take your time. Jay-Z and Beyoncé dated for 6 years before getting married. Not everyone has to wait 6 years but a good amount of time helps you build a solid foundation. A lot of relationships fail over time because people rush too soon to be serious. Also a word to the wise:the word “love” or “marriage” should never even be in your vocabulary in regards to your relationship when it’s still fresh and new.

Every relationship has bumpy roads but having the same goals and views on the direction is what will get you through it. The less people you clue in to every single detail of your partnership the better.

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