Ok, I have a gripe. A gripe I want to issue to the producers of Gossip Girl. If these guys are supposed to be be in college, could you maybe actually SHOW them in college at some point? I mean, I don’t know what everyone else’s schedule looks like, but I know when I was in school, I didn’t have all these big holes in my schedule that allowed me to sneak uptown for some afternoon nookie, or prance over to the nearest coffee shop to wail and whine about my mysterious boyfriend.

As so sets the stage for last night’s episode. Nothing is as it seems, kids. Dan is doing the nasty with Regina (much to Blair’s horror and Serena’s amusement), Vanessa is finally starting to realize that Scott is keeping a big ole’ secret, Blair’s been invited to join some secret society, and Serena is struggling to believe that Carter is this knight-in-shining-armor (which is a little tough to swallow when your man gets slapped in the face by some chick and his credit cards are suddenly all maxxed out) that he keeps claiming to be.

Well, it all convieniently comes together at this big photo auction Lily’s hosting (even though she’s totally MIA – absentee mom much?) and Rufus is running. Chuck and Blair are fighting over the same pic (you don’t want to mess with a girl who’s going through major booty withdrawal), Scott’s decided he’s going to tell Rufus he’s his secret son, Regina is set on playing GF (gotta love that R+D=4 Ever screensaver) even though Dan’s classification is more “hanging out,” AND Serena is feeling like maybe Blair is right, and that Carter might be cut from the same scumbag cloth as old Chuck.

Oh, but nothing is what is seems, folks. It wouldn’t be a true GG episode unless someone was scheming and scamming to screw someone over. Poor Carter got double whammied by Team Bass/Waldorf in an effort to protect the fair Serena/get revenge, while the blonde goddess herself discovered Regina was pulling strings all over town to destroy her BFF’s relationship (sorry Reg, but your naked study sessions with Dan are officially over and out), and Vanessa about had a cow when Scott totally lied to Rufus (after his adopted mom showed up) and told him he was really THE BROTHER of Rufus and Lily’s dead son. DRAMA!

But it’s only going to get better. Regina’s the only one but Vaness that knows about Scott, and she’s headin’ to Boston to get the scoop before she screws over the entire GG crew (expect a blow-up between Vanessa and Dan when it comes out she knew all along and didn’t tell him), and some hot partying now that Chuck’s cashed out his stock at Bass Industries to buy his own hotel (um, if my BF owned a hotel, you can bet I wouldn’t be slumming it in the NYC dorms).  One can only hope Lil’ J, Nate, and Eric will get more screen time. I want to see NYU Campus, Columbia, the old school, and maybe a trip to Urban Outiftters (come on, like Dan only owns one flannel or something?)