Letting Go of Mr. Perfect

To many young ladies, a perfect man is a typical cute guy with fantastical traits we desire in a man. He never forgets to put down the toilet seat or take out the trash. Typically, he’s a Friday man and our knight in shining armor. He’s considered spotless.

 But we all know that as we become adults, the image of a perfect man begins to tarnish; we suddenly see the difference between reality and fantasy. We realize that it’s like being in an all you can eat buffet, but not really getting all we want. We want to have rice, chicken and vegetables, but we find out that there is only Schezuan beef left, so we opt for that choice.

But somehow in a twisted way even after all the disappointments, we women still believe that our untainted man is still out there. So we hope and dream that even though we are taking crap right now, Mr. Perfect will come to us one day. But the reality is that we live in an imperfect world with imperfect men. And most of the time, we really don’t marry Mr. Perfect.

I’m not saying that a woman can’t get what she desires in a man. There is a difference between having a healthy standard and holding on to an unreal perception of an ideal man. Let’s face it, real life Snow White or Sleeping Beauty stories happen through a journey of patience, commitment, acceptance and all the ingredients that keep a relationship strong. I honestly feel that every truly happy couple would say that it wasn’t always a bed of roses; the lady didn’t see Mr. Perfect qualities in her man and neither did the man see Ms. Perfect qualities in the lady.

But each of them, probably through experience and just personal taste, chose their partner with realistic standards, and worked on having a wonderful relationship. I feel that standards like wanting a guy, who’s exactly 6 ft 8 and a John Grisham fan, really are teenage fantasies, and should have been dropped when the teenage years ended.

My personal standard would be a man who would be a really close and good friend to me. He also has to be romantic and spontaneous. Having a man who believes in my dreams and urges me on to them would be my ideal man. That for me says a lot. It says that he hopes the best in life for me. He is not too self-centered to see that I matter. And he loves me so much that he is prepared to watch me become the woman I’m supposed to be. That would be better than any image I had created of my perfect man.

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