My Life on Mondays

_*For most, Monday mornings usually begin a new work cycle. But for this unemployed recent college grad, Monday mornings usually signal the start of a fresh week of self-loathing. Log on each Monday for a witty (read self indulgent) and adventurous (read criminally boring) slice of life from University Chic’s Executive Editor, Stacy Hinojosa, an optimistic, job-hunting baccalaureate._

It’s 2:30 in the morning and I’m sitting on the floor of my bedroom watching How Stella Got Her Groove Back on TV. *That’s my life on Mondays.*

Last week I was down to four dollars in my bank account so I went and applied for some jobs at the mall. Anthropologie called me in for an interview. *A group interview.* We all sat in a circle and passed around questions. The other girls seemed pretty normal, except for the one that kept talking about the cheerleading squad she coached. My first question was *”Tell us about your most favorite and least favorite jobs you’ve had.”* I told them that my favorite job was working at a snack shack on a golf course because I was all by myself and basically just got paid to read books. I told them my least favorite job was working also at the snack shack because one day it got struck by lightning while I was working in it _(a whole other story)_.

Then, we had to look under our seats, _(where there was an Anthropologie bag)_ and describe how we would talk a seller into purchasing its contents. I looked around me as girls were pulling out scarves, sweaters and candles. One girl had an apron and I thought about how I bought an apron in London and wore it over jeans like a skirt. _*That was funky. That would make them think I was cool._* I reached into my bag and pulled out a blue salad bowl. _Great. Just great._ I wasn’t really sure how I’d pitch a bowl to a customer. _It’s a four-dollar bowl. They’ll buy it if they need a bowl…_ I searched it for some unique fact, but all I saw was Made In China. I muttered something about how it’s cool to have a “mish mash” of dinnerware and China is notorious for making great bowls.

The last part of the interview was a multiple-choice survey you had to fill out. _A test? I had to take a test?_ And not just any test, it was a hard test, with difficult questions. *Agree or disagree… “An employee that is high on marijuana can do their job just as well as an employee who is not.” _Is this a trick question?_* “Agree or disagree… “Punctuality is not important to me.” _If only I knew how they wanted me to respond._ I finished all 68 questions in record time and got up to leave. “Are you sure you answered them all?” they asked me. “Sometimes people skip the hard ones and forget to go back to them.” _Hard ones?_ I told them I was pretty sure I’d answered all of them. Then they told me if they didn’t call on Monday, then I didn’t get the job. So if they happened to be impressed by the way I told them their bowls were microwave and dishwasher safe, they’ll call me sometime today to offer me the job.

*But it doesn’t really matter, see, I filled out applications at two stores that day*, and the other one happened to call me back first. Yes, it’s true. I’m no longer an unemployed college grad…I’m a sales associate at Banana Republic. *Stella may have her groove, but I’ve got a job.* Speaking of, I’ve got to get to bed. My first shift is in a few hours and I have an employee discount card to use.

*stacy hinojosa* _graduated in August from Brigham Young University with a degree in journalism and is currently pursuing a career in magazine journalism and design._

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