Kate sucks. Period. I hate everything about her. I hate her stupid hair. I hate her stupid face. I hate the stupid way she manipulated Jack and Sawyer into falling for her, only to lead the two of them around in circles. I hate the way she got to bang Sawyer in a dirty bear cage. Most of all, I hate the way she ruins everything – including last night’s episode.

What Kate Does…is boring.

I mean, seriously? After watching her just about leisurely stroll around the airport when she was supposed to be making a run for it last week, I really couldn’t care less about what Kate was up to next. The writers probably figured as much, so they threw the previously missing-in-action Claire into the mix to keep us all watching. And damn them, it worked. Basically, Kate uses a gun to commandeer a taxi, Kate decides to take her hostage Claire to the home of the would be adoptive parents of her baby and…that’s it. All of her scenes were pretty much the Lost equivalent of watching paint dry…in slow motion. Even the fake name she was going under to hide her identity was boring – Joan Hart? Really, Kate? Who out there is still naming their babies Joan? So far, I’m pretty underwhelmed by the alternate reality, if that’s really what it is. Wake me up when someone goes rouge and decides to blow up a building.  Though I did find it interesting that not only was Claire pregnant in the alternate reality, but she still decides to name her son Aaron. Hmm. Though I highly doubt she’s going to have a smooth, uneventful pregnancy in this reality either – Ethan is her doctor. ETHAN.

Guess it’s not so much fun when you’re not doing the torturing.

I have no idea what’s going on with Sayid. None. Whatsoever. After dying (if he really did die) then coming back to life (if it really is him) last week, you’d think he’d get a break from the excitement for a second. Not so much. He found himself on the opposite side of the torture chamber as The New Others (as I’ve come to start calling them) put him through a round of not so family friendly activities. He was told by the english speaking representative that he was “being tested” and had “passed.” Yeah, two seconds later we come to find out that was a lie. The leader of The New Others tells Jack that Sayid is “infected” by a “darkness” that will claim his entire being if Jack doesn’t administer an unmarked pill to his friend…and then seems pretty confused when Jack refuses. I mean, come on. Has this guy never seen an after-school special? You don’t put things in your mouth if you don’t know where they’ve been. After Jack tries several times to get the ingredients, he finally decides to resort to the shock method – by trying to swallow the pill himself. Bold move, Shepherd. I didn’t think you had it in you. The leader Heimlich maneuvers the pill out of Jack, then tells him that it isn’t actually medicine, that it’s poison. Poison? Well, why didn’t you say so! I’ll go get my recently dead friend to go swallow the poison pill right now, I don’t know why we didn’t do it before. What the hell, seriously. But then the leader drops the real bombshell – if Sayid doesn’t take the pill, he’ll be claimed by the same darkness that took Jack’s sister. That’s right – it would appear that Claire is down with the sickness…or something. Off in the jungle, Jin gets in an argument with the (as usual) insufferable Kate, who takes off chasing Sawyer’s tail after expressing little or no interest in helping Jin reunite with Sun. Surprise, surprise. Jin is later captured by some of the more…ornery…members of The New Others (one of which was attacked by Kate a few years back) and just when it looks like things are about to get messy, he is saved – by a gun wielding, bear trap setting Claire.  Looks like she’s gone all Rousseau on us, y’all.

Leave Sawyer alone! He’s a human!

Kate had her chance. Sawyer was seeing nothing but Freckles-vision for a long, long time. They got it on in a dirty bear cage. She had her chance…and she blew it. She screwed up with Jack, too. So why is she trailing Sawyer across the island after he pointed a gun after her and warned her not to follow him? All he wanted was some private time to mourn the loss of Juliet. After Kate corners him at the Dharma house the two used to share, Sawyer reveals that he’d planned to propose. He was 100% smitten, and it’s best that he goes through his mourning period with Jack on the opposite side of the island – because I have a feeling those two aren’t quite done yet.

Not a lot of questions answered by this episode, and that’s fine, I guess. After the extreme mind blowing action that was last week on Lost, we definitely needed time to recover…and get ready for next week. The promos show Sawyer reunited with “Locke,” who appears to be taking him out into the jungle and promising to “tell him everything.” Everything like…where he stormed off to with a half conscious Richard Alpert on his back last week, maybe? I guess we’ll find out!