Project Runway Recap: Final Five Fight To The Death

Most. Boring. Project Runway. Season. Ever. Honestly, I think I could have picked the final three in my sleep (oh wait, I did — like, FOUR WEEKS AGO). For humor’s sake, I’ll give you a rundown of last night’s episode, but if you’ve been following along, this probably only requires the Cliff Notes version.

This week’s PR challenge was a no-brainer in the sense we’ve seen it before: Go to the Getty Museum in L.A. and pick out something that inspires you. Ok, cool — the place has pretty much everything under the sun. Christopher gravitated to the fountain outside, Jordana and Irina to the paintings, Carol Hannah liked the big Parisian bed, and Althea chose the building itself. Everybody was happy-happy joy-joy until they returned from Mood and actually had to speak to each other.

Irena was still carrying a grudge against Althea following her win last week (in which “Meana Irina” accused her in front of the judges of copying a previous design). This drove her to talk smack and bond with Jordana (who in turn got nasty with Carol Hannah back and the apartment). Meanwhile, Carol Hannah and Christopher were hanging out, which left Althea as the ODD man out. To make matters worse, Tim wasn’t exactly loving anyone’s work and was driving the point home to the designers that they really needed to have a critical eye (calling Althea’s dress a “post-apacalyptic moment” with a “pucker problem” kinda sums it up nicely). The only surprise to be had was the fact that even Christopher himself admitted he was a little shocked he was still here, and that if anyone was the odd man out, it was him (umm, I’ve only been saying that for the past three challenges – glad somebody else finally chimed in.)

When it finally came down to judging time, “disappointment” seemed to be the word of the day. First, I WAS because Michael Kors was MIA again (Cynthia Rowley: Beautiful clothing, but not exactly the gay fashion firecracker MK is), then the judges (including Cindy Crawford) expressed disatisfaction with everything that walked down the runway. Althea was slammed for her overly-ambitious dress that Heidi deemed a “mess-fest.” Irina was scolded by Nina for the “old-lady length” of hers and her choice of accessories from the Macy’s wall. Jordana’s Monet-inspired dress was gorgeous, but Nina still wondered if she would ever take any chances. Carol Hannah’s was equally as amazing, but was declared “too safe,” while Christopher (for the love of all things heavy and drapey) still couldn’t figure out how to make his beautiful tops mesh with his bad bridesmaid skirts. After a scolding from the judges, he burst into tears and had to be consoled by his own model. Not exactly his finest moment, but then again, he hasn’t exactly had one since his vampire goth bride creation from the Hollywood costume challenge.

In the end (JUST AS I PREDICTED!), Jordana and Chrisopher were sent back to the minors, and Althea, Irina, and Carol Hannah were given the chance to compete at Fashion Week, making it the first Project Runway EVER in which a male designer failed to make it to the tents at Bryant Park. Trust me, I’m all for girl power, but if these three don’t take it up a notch in the next two episodes, I might actually be forced to drop this show like a bad habit and get my Top Model on instead. At least Tyra and Miss J got ‘tude aplenty – all the PR producers seem to be able to muster is a pint-size mean girl with an appreciation for faux fur and a penchant for talking smack behind people’s backs.

Head on over to 1,000 Dreams Fund to learn how to get funding for your dreams!