It’s an age-old topic of discussion, and whether we’re for it or against it, it’s almost inevitable. No, not the endless amount of snow that’s been occurring in the northeast, but the debate over couples moving in together before marriage. Many college-aged and recently graduated young adults have found themselves in long-term relationships and the same question is on their mind: when is it time to discuss living arrangements with one another? Is it socially acceptable to share the rent when a couple hasn’t shared wedding vows yet?
It seems as if many early to mid twenty-somethings agree that living with their boyfriend or girlfriend is important before considering any plans of walking down the aisle. This is a rather drastic change from the way our parents and grandparents handled the situation, though some have accepted society’s changes on the subject.
Leigh Maneri, a senior print journalism at Quinnipiac University, doesn’t think this will be a controversial issue, because she knows her mother is looking out for her.
“It would be more about making the best decision for me and my future than if she thinks it’s morally right or wrong,” she said.
Luckily for Maneri, discussing a potential opposite-sex roommate won’t start World War III in her household. The topic often turns from a mere thought in a young couple’s minds to a reality when the time is right and both are ready to take a step further.
“It’s no wonder why couples move in together, even if they haven’t been dating for that long,” said Kaitlyn Linker, who has been with her boyfriend for eight months. “We’re both so comfortable around each other and who knows if we’d even be dating if we didn’t start off that way.”
Linker, a senior education major at SUNY New Paltz, said the close confines of a college lifestyle has made it easier for the two to grow closer. They aren’t afraid to discuss the possibility of moving in together in the near future, especially if the time is right.
“That’s the key to any relationship, really. If a couple can be themselves around each other and stay together through up’s and down’s, they could be ready to start living together,” she said.
We’re often told to go with our instincts, though what’s right for some people isn’t right for others. The key is to go with the flow and keep an open mind about moving in with your significant other, even if you aren’t married yet. It allows you to learn more about that person, and even better, you can learn about yourself.
“To me, it’s perfectly normal for an unmarried couple to move in together, and now that I’m in a serious relationship, I can see how important it is,” Linker said. “At the end of the day, you just want to be with that person, and living together seems like a great way to do it.”
— By Tracy Diamond, Quinnipiac University