I can vividly remember this one specific conversation I had with my Dad when I was in high school. I had a crush on a boy named Matt from my English class with unbelievable eyes. Well, Matt of the soulful eyes, decided that he’d rather break my heart than date me, which left me crying in my Dad’s arms. Long (still painful) story short, My Dad, slightly unsure of what to do, said what any father would say to his slightly awkward princess, “When you get to college, you’ll have to beat them off with a stick.”
Well college came and no stick was needed...not even close! At first I thought it must be me, but after conversations with college friends, I deduced that it must be a defect on my college campus. But that Christmas break, my friends from home revealed the same problem- not one datable boy. There were boys to befriend, boys to study with, even boys to hook-up with- but no boys to date.
|So what is the reason behind the epidemic? Why can’t anybody find a somebody? Well as my brother, the more honest male in my family, says: “Why would you order one dish when you can have an all you can eat buffet?” Not to pin the blame on boys, but it seems that college-aged men are not interested in relationships. Often passing on the great girl for the option of sampling a lot of other great girls. And those interested in relationships usually appear to be already occupied.
And really, it isn’t just the fault of guys; girls also have agendas that get in the way, a refusal to settle. We all have offers, but like I hear my friends say, offers to do not equal options. Just because a guy asks you out, doesn’t mean you have say yes solely for the sake of having a date. So it seems that the male refusal to settle down and our refusal to settle for whatever comes along equals one big campus wasteland.
So what is a single college co-ed to do?
To be honest, I cannot tell you the best places to prowl for boys or even the right way to approach a guy (see above, I’m awkward), and to be even more honest, I regularly see some of the most beautiful, most intelligent women that I know bemoan a lack of a boyfriend, a mystery to me. But what I can tell you is that I truly believe that when you find what you’re looking for, be it romantic or platonic, enduring or fleeting, it will not be from any combination of schemes found in a magazine. You can never plan when and how you’ll meet someone, just trust that it will. And it isn’t necessary to date a lot of “ehhh” guys to get there.
Okay so excuse my repeat use of a terrible extended metaphor, but it highlights this point so well. Why waste calories on an unsatisfying buffet, when investing in one gastrorgasmic dish is so much better than settling?
As frustrating as the wait may be, when it’s right, it’s right. And when you’ve found that perfect entree, no all-you-can eat buffet can compete.