You Say Renesme, I Say Get A Life: Don’t look for orginality in the next generation of baby names. According to the U.S. Social Security Administration, Isabella, Jacob, and Cullen are gaining popularity thanks to the Twilight novels. Reality check: I’d rather name my kid Han Solo or Dumbledore than stick them with a monikor associated with screaming tweens, bad acting, and babies that eat their way out of the womb…

Get Thee to the Bieber Shop: Forget “the Rachel” – tons of teen boys are apparently hot to copy singer Justin Bieber‘s shaggy ‘do. I don’t know what’s scarier –  a bunch of sixteen-year-old dudes caring that much about their hair, or the fact that they even admit to knowing who Justin Bieber is to begin with.

HIGH School Drama: Talk about a buzz kill – The federal government is cracking down on colleges that support or stand back and ignore student or campus events that support drug use. Sadly, I’m guessing this means U of M’s yearly Hash Bash will be decidely munchie-free.

Our Cup Runneth Over: Fruit of the Loom has just come out with a new bra designed for girls whose “girls” aren’t exactly the same size. Basically you buy two halfs of a bra and mix and match them depending in your cup size. I give this idea an “A” (even though I tend to hover somewhere between a “B” or “C” most of the time).

Sexting to the Extreme: A new study reveals 1 in 10 young people thinks it’s ok to text during sex. In related news, 1 in 10 young people can’t understand why their friends refuse to touch their phone…

Ballin’ With Barbie: The economy is in the tank, the rate of unemployment is rising, so of course the geniuses at Mattel have decided it’s the perfect time to roll out their “Plastic Collection” of high-end Barbie must-haves. Why save your money for stupid things like rent and food when you can live the dream with your very own Barbie foosball table for a mere $25K?

Dear Gen Y – It’s Not All About You: All you Millenials out there can breathe a sigh of relief. On the annoyance scale, Gen Yers rank way higher when it comes to pissing off their employers. According to a new study, the Gen Y generation was judged to be more self-centered and entitled than Gen Xers and Baby Boom employees.  What does that mean for you? Make sure you eat a healthy does of humble pie BEFORE you snag a job and start negotiating for unreasonable stuff like four weeks paid vacation and a personal assistant.