I Wish I Knew is a series of personal essays written by the courageous young UChic Campus Ambassadors. Learn how to survive and thrive during your freshman year from girls who have been through it.

Taylor Swift summarized freshman year perfectly in her song “Fifteen”. I could fill a book with all of the things I didn’t know at fifteen (although technically I was only fourteen as a freshman). Being a freshman in high school is challenging. My freshman year, I found myself in the worst relationship of my life with the school’s theatre department.

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I met drama through some mutual friends. Drama and me seemed to have nothing in common. I was a shy and a quiet nerd and the department was outgoing and loud. Me and my relationship with drama worked for a while, but quickly deteriorated into a fiery explosion.

I wish I knew when to quit. I had trouble forming real relationships because the people I surrounded myself with weren’t good influences. I had started cutting class, abandoning homework, and gossiping was normal.

I wish I knew how to tell I was unhappy. It wasn’t until I left the theatre department that I realized how much I had disliked it. It had consumed my life and turned me into a different person. I was content going with the crowd.

I wish I knew that I didn’t have to change. You don’t have to hide who you are. Trying to become someone you’re not is never a good idea. Once you accept yourself for who you are, life will become so much easier. I’m an introvert. I’d much rather read a book in my comfortable bed than go out to a wild party. And you know what? That is perfectly okay!

I wish I knew that boys weren’t worth it. They shouldn’t ever get in the way of who you are. If you find yourself changing for a boy, then he’s not someone you should be around. If a boy ever pressures you, just walk away. Someone like that isn’t ever going to be good for you.

“In your life you’ll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team.”

I’m glad I know these things (and a lot more) now. Like many high school students, I’m still figuring myself out. After I broke up with the drama department, I cried for a bit. I was angry, hurt, and confused. I moved on and got back into the dating scene. I dated golf, yearbook, and eventually found journalism. I fell back in love with writing, something that had been an escape to me since I was a young girl. I look back on my experience with drama and I’m actually happy it happened. Even though it was a terrible relationship, it gave me the motivation to be a better person.

 
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